Going underground…

Good morning, despots of the world!

I write to you today from my Underground Lair at an undisclosed location in Tripoli, from where I am determined to fight like a tiger until victory is mine, or die like a martyr with the entrails of my petrified foes gripped fiercely in my lifeless hands.

That is assuming anyone can find me.

Overnight we have been laughing, my faithful sons and I, at the claims of the hapless drug-fuelled rats who have infested our great city. First they thought they had Mohammed, but, like the wind, he escaped their flimsy cages. Then they said they had Saif, yet here he is, Saif and sound (and underground).

Liberators? I think not. Liberace, more like.

So, what, I hear you ask, is that mighty sound bubbling up from the tunnels below Tripoli? That, my friends, is the sound of despotic laughter. Hear it and weep: Muah. Muahahaha. Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!

There are those who say the battle is nearly over. But let me tell you this: this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. It is not even the first letter in a very long sentence which ends with an extended prelude to a long beginning.

To those who back the infidel hordes, I have only this to say: nerny nerny ner ner. To paraphrase your famous philosopher, Sir Montague Python, your mothers are hamsters and your fathers smell of elderberries. I fart in your general direction.

Goodbye for now.

About captainlimey

Captain Limey is the alter ego of a mild mannered idiot. He can also be found on Twitter, either as @CaptainLimey or in his new guise as a purveyor of Gangland Mummy Porn in @50ShadesOfKray. Despite a magnificent costume, specially created for him by his mother, he has no super powers, unless you count the ability of his skin to eat through metal, given enough time. This has led to the buggeration of several watches of his acquaintance but has not thus far proved harmful to other lifeforms. The Captain hopes you will enjoy his blogged musings and forgive the occasional rant against the world at large, and idiot dictators in particular. They really get his gander up.
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2 Responses to Going underground…

  1. Necessitude says:

    I have to come right out and say that the “modification” to the Charlie’s Angels logo made me immediately laugh out loud! Brilliant! Who’d have thought that Kate Jackson would have been involved with such a crowd? I have to say that a bigger weapon has certainly improved her profile.
    I’m thinking that Muammar and Saif are just the types we need in CLENCH, especially as they’ve obviously got underground lair experience.
    Witty and highly funny as usual, my dear Captain. *much applause*

  2. captainlimey says:

    Thanks, Bear. Let’s just hope they don’t have a large death ray to go with all that underground lair experience…

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