A New Year’s reprise for my attempt at Wodehouse. The news story that inspired it is, somewhat alarmingly, true.

Kind of Lime

Woman Hits Breeder With Chihuahua
A woman, angry that her new puppy had died, pushed her way into a dog breeder’s home and repeatedly hit her on the head with the dead Chihuahua, St Louis police authories report. The 33-year-old woman said she had taken the puppy to a veterinarian, who advised her it was only 4 weeks old and should be returned to its mother. But before she could return the puppy, it died.


“Ah there you are, Jeeves,” I said as the great man shimmered into the room. “Just in time, too. I have need of your grey matter.”

“Indeed, sir?”

A mask of horror shivered fleetingly across his normally impassive features.

“Aha!” I exclaimed. “You have noticed!”

“Indeed, sir.”

I fixed him with an intense Wooster stare, one that would have pierced the hide of many a lesser man. “Do I detect a scintilla of disapproval in your tone, Jeeves?”

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About captainlimey

Captain Limey is the alter ego of a mild mannered idiot. He can also be found on Twitter, either as @CaptainLimey or in his new guise as a purveyor of Gangland Mummy Porn in @50ShadesOfKray. Despite a magnificent costume, specially created for him by his mother, he has no super powers, unless you count the ability of his skin to eat through metal, given enough time. This has led to the buggeration of several watches of his acquaintance but has not thus far proved harmful to other lifeforms. The Captain hopes you will enjoy his blogged musings and forgive the occasional rant against the world at large, and idiot dictators in particular. They really get his gander up.
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