A Vision in a Dream. A Figment

My spirit guide, Bob, has been knocking urgently on my astral door ever since the inauguration. Seems Samuel Taylor Coleridge was on the Ethereal Blower with this report from the Other Side.


Millions of people thronged the Capitol  last Friday. And a Christmas tree.

In Washington did Donald Trump

A stately pleasure-dome decree:

And Ralph, the White House dresser, ran

Through swatches to complete the plan

   Downtown in old DC.

With twice five miles of plate gold found,

The walls and rooms were gilded round;

And there were toilets bright with auric frills,

The toilet rolls were golden filigree;

And here were Donald’s photos, flattering stills

Staring down at whomsoever had a pee.


But oh! that cool reflecting pool which slanted

Across the green Mall beside the Lincoln shrine!

Trump hated it! The whole thing left him haunted

As e’er because his self-esteem was taunted

By great deeds of the past he could not outshine!

In his speeches, with ceaseless swagger seething,

Were countless porkies, natural as breathing,

Almighty whoppers, pan-handled from a stream

Of glinting fools’ gold, a never-failing seam.

Huge falsehoods vented in front of cameras,

No evidence, each claim bigly bold as brass.

Amid these diatribes the TV and press

Were made to sit in silence, witness the mess:

Five pages wandering with hazy notions

Through countless words the hapless visitors sat,

And gawped at each new shiny alternate fact,

Then sank at length, bewildered, in commotion;

And ’mid this tumult Donald heard from far

Journalist voices prophesying war!

   The shadow of the presidency

   Passed across the gathering;

   Nothing that was evidentiary

   Seemed to mean a single thing.

It was a miracle of rare device,

A White House pleasure-dome with caves of ice!


   A spokesman with a bone to pick,

   Sent out by the president:

   “We had two million. Period

   The multitudes were myriad!”

   Millions at the Capitol?

   Could I believe, within me,

   His rhetoric so strong?

   I knew the answer instantly:

Something here was very wrong.

I would put that Trump on air,

That White House dome! those caves of ice!

And all who watched should see them there,

And all should cry, Beware! Beware!

His tiny hands, his stupid hair!

Beware this man who cleaves to power

And close your eyes with holy dread

For he on Russian treats hath fed,

And drunk a call girl’s golden shower.

About captainlimey

Captain Limey is the alter ego of a mild mannered idiot. He can also be found on Twitter, either as @CaptainLimey or in his new guise as a purveyor of Gangland Mummy Porn in @50ShadesOfKray. Despite a magnificent costume, specially created for him by his mother, he has no super powers, unless you count the ability of his skin to eat through metal, given enough time. This has led to the buggeration of several watches of his acquaintance but has not thus far proved harmful to other lifeforms. The Captain hopes you will enjoy his blogged musings and forgive the occasional rant against the world at large, and idiot dictators in particular. They really get his gander up.
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3 Responses to A Vision in a Dream. A Figment

  1. Christine Heiser says:

    Too funny! Favorite rime: “We had two million. Period/The multitudes were myriad!”
    It’s rare to find someone who understands Romanticism and political parody. Everyone should read this. But not in U.S. We’re idiots, apparently.

  2. captainlimey says:

    Reblogged this on Kind of Lime and commented:

    Following the spat at yesterday’s White House press briefing, I can’t help feeling that this blog has turned out to be even more prescient than I feared.

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