Every now and then an apparently harmless Twitter exchange can act as inspiration for the strangest of ideas. Genesis once wrote a song about a Giant Hogweed and, as you can see, @janh1 commented that it was somewhat weird subject matter.
“Well, why not?” I thought.
Here’s the Japanese Knotwood rap. Be careful what you wish for!
(Caution: contains a naughty M word. Twice)
Fallopia japonica,
That motherfucka killed your dupontia!
Fallopia japonica,
Got its greedy eyes on your macedonica ~
You know it’s gonna be wrongin’ ya.
Fallopia japonica.
Call the police or a priest,
Mista Fleeceflower is lookin to strangle ya;
He wants to entangle ya!
Ties that bind,
He’s a vine,
Shoots a line
Like some Spiderman danglin’ ya;
When he’s gotcha
He’s gonna garotte ya
In your vegetable plot, yeah!
He’s a knotweed, he’ll make you knock-kneed,
He’ll make your eyes bleed,
He grows at lightning speed,
He’s like a lightning seed
(Without Skinner or Baddiel)
Fallopia!
Japonica!
Fallopia!
Japonica!
There’s no hope for ya!
It’s dystopia!
Fallopia!
Japonica!
He’s a knotweed, he’ll make you knock-kneed,
He’ll make your eyes bleed,
He grows at lightning speed
He’s a knotweed, he’ll make your eyes bleed!
Fallopia
Japonica
That motherfucka killed your dupontia!
Fallopia
Japonica
Kind of Lime 
Flippin’ brilliant! 👏 👏 👏 😀
So many good lyrics but Lightning Seed without Skinner or Baddiel was brill as was “knock-kneed…he grows at lighning speed”
You should post the lyrics too so we can appreciate the entire rap in all its wordsmitheringly splendid glory.
Thank you! I am discombobulated by your praise! Lyrics to follow!