The President made quite the splash this week in Helsinki.

With all due apologies to Elton John and Bernie Taupin, here’s my starry-eyed tribute to the POTUS.

YOUR SONG

(To Vlad, with love, always, Donnie xxxxx)

It’s a little bit funny
This President thing
But I’m one those guys who can
Do anything

I have so much money
Though not all of it’s mine,
I live in a big White House
So everything’s fine

If I was a golfer
I’d play every day
With a girl on each arm for all those
Difficult lays
I know it costs money but, hey,
It’s the best I can do,
They sign non-disclosures:
Here’s one’s for you.

And you can tell everybody
Vlad is my pal,
I may be quite simple but,
Like Steven Seagal,
I really don’t mind,
I really don’t mind
What I put down in words,

As long as Vlad pays me, I’ll screw the whole world.

I went to the summit and hacked off the press
And quite a few of my colleagues, but frankly I could care less,
And Sean Hannity’s been quite kind, said I did nothing wrong
It’s for people like him that I keep Fox News turned on

So excuse me forgetting

That word I misused,

You see I keep getting

“Would” and “wouldn’t” very confused,

Anyway, the thing is,

What I really mean,

Vlad is the coolest dude

I’ve ever seen!

And you can tell everybody
Vlad is my pal,
I may be quite simple but,
Like Steven Seagal,
I really don’t mind,
I really don’t mind
What I put down in words,

As long as Vlad pays me, I’ll screw the whole world.

I really don’t mind,
I really don’t mind
What I put down in words,

As long as Vlad pays me, I’ll screw the whole world.