Author Archives: captainlimey

About captainlimey

Captain Limey is the alter ego of a mild mannered idiot. He can also be found on Twitter, either as @CaptainLimey or in his new guise as a purveyor of Gangland Mummy Porn in @50ShadesOfKray. Despite a magnificent costume, specially created for him by his mother, he has no super powers, unless you count the ability of his skin to eat through metal, given enough time. This has led to the buggeration of several watches of his acquaintance but has not thus far proved harmful to other lifeforms. The Captain hopes you will enjoy his blogged musings and forgive the occasional rant against the world at large, and idiot dictators in particular. They really get his gander up.

Elton Don

Posted on July 18, 2018

The President made quite the splash this week in Helsinki. With all due apologies to Elton John and Bernie Taupin, here’s my starry-eyed tribute to the POTUS. YOUR SONG (To Vlad, with love, always, Donnie xxxxx) It’s a little bit … Continue reading →

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The Long and Grinding Road

Posted on July 17, 2018

News broke yesterday that caused much weeping and gnashing of teeth among Salisbury residents. From Salisbury Journal online: In an idle moment of whimsy I tweeted, in a reply to Salisbury Journal’s Rebecca Hudson, a parody chorus based on “Goodbye, … Continue reading →

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Return of the Japanese Knotweed

Posted on June 27, 2018

Every now and then an apparently harmless Twitter exchange can act as inspiration for the strangest of ideas. Genesis once wrote a song about a Giant Hogweed and, as you can see, @janh1 commented that it was somewhat weird subject … Continue reading →

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‘Tails of the New Fronteer’ by Nigel Molesworth

Posted on February 26, 2018

With my customary apologies to Geoffrey Willans and Ronald Searle Welcome back gentle reeder. The last time we spoke you may recall st. custards was on the virge of a SINISTER hostel takeover by Americans becos of a deel struck … Continue reading →

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The Dead President Sketch

Posted on January 12, 2018

Following Donald Trump’s glowing and, frankly, somewhat unlikely medical report, I began to wonder if there isn’t a more straightforward explanation for the President’s weird behaviour. With apologies to the Monty Python team.   A voter enters the White House. … Continue reading →

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January to November 2017

Posted on November 27, 2017

With apologies to Walt Whitman January O Country! my Country! the White House trick is done, The GOP is right on track, the prize it sought is won, The Don is in, beside him Flynn, the alt Right all excited, … Continue reading →

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Hate in Your Heart

Posted on September 27, 2017

Updated 23/10/17 I bought a new iPad recently, as my old one was showing signs of distress. I was thrilled to discover that my new toy came equipped with GarageBand, and that I could record stuff quite easily. I’m gradually … Continue reading →

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