Author Archives: captainlimey

About captainlimey

Captain Limey is the alter ego of a mild mannered idiot. He can also be found on Twitter, either as @CaptainLimey or in his new guise as a purveyor of Gangland Mummy Porn in @50ShadesOfKray. Despite a magnificent costume, specially created for him by his mother, he has no super powers, unless you count the ability of his skin to eat through metal, given enough time. This has led to the buggeration of several watches of his acquaintance but has not thus far proved harmful to other lifeforms. The Captain hopes you will enjoy his blogged musings and forgive the occasional rant against the world at large, and idiot dictators in particular. They really get his gander up.

January to November 2017

With apologies to Walt Whitman January O Country! my Country! the White House trick is done, The GOP is right on track, the prize it sought is won, The Don is in, beside him Flynn, the alt Right all excited, … Continue reading

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Hate in Your Heart

Updated 23/10/17 I bought a new iPad recently, as my old one was showing signs of distress. I was thrilled to discover that my new toy came equipped with GarageBand, and that I could record stuff quite easily. I’m gradually … Continue reading

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In Hannity

“Good evening, America. Welcome at the top of the hour to “In Hannity”, our weekly Fox News look at the latest twisted lies by libtard supporters of Crooked Hillary. I’m Sean Hannity…” “…and I’m Tucker Carlson…” “…and together we’re Harlson…” … Continue reading

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A Vision in a Dream. A Figment

Originally posted on Kind of Lime:
My spirit guide, Bob, has been knocking urgently on my astral door ever since the inauguration. Seems Samuel Taylor Coleridge was on the Ethereal Blower with this report from the Other Side. Millions of…

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Presidential Kinks

We are the Donald Trump Appreciation Society God bless made-up facts, in all their different varieties! We are the Ku Klux Klan Preservation Society God save David Duke, our guiding light of propriety. Preserving the old ways from being abused … Continue reading

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Putting Donald To The Test

President Trump has, in his own words, accumulated lots of data and he has an astonishingly high IQ. I thought it only fair that we should be allowed to disseminate more widely the pearls of wisdom that no doubt shimmer … Continue reading

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Nigel Molesworth Reports

 Further apologies to Geoffrey Willans and Ronald Searle Since mi last misive there hav been SINISTER developments at st custards. Last Monday our weedy Head had a brakedown during an ofsted inspektion and started throwing flowerpots at fotherington-tomas from his … Continue reading

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Mr Smith Goes To LALALAND

Yesterday I went with my wife to watch LALALAND. I suspect my blog is not eagerly sought out by Trump-leaning folk, but any readers of that mindset will already be thinking “There’s another sad, liberal snowflake in thrall to his … Continue reading

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Launch Code of the Woosters

With apologies to the great P.G. Wodehouse. “I say, Jeeves! What do you make of this Trump fellow?” For perhaps a millisecond, the great man paused in the act of pouring my constitutional snifter. A less keen eye might have … Continue reading

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Should Auld Acquaintance…

This blog has been recycled from a previous blog. Recycling is good for the environment. Fact. It’s Burns Night and later, after a few snifters, those of a more Scottish persuasion will no doubt be singing Auld Lang Syne. But what … Continue reading

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