Author Archives: captainlimey

About captainlimey

Captain Limey is the alter ego of a mild mannered idiot. He can also be found on Twitter, either as @CaptainLimey or in his new guise as a purveyor of Gangland Mummy Porn in @50ShadesOfKray. Despite a magnificent costume, specially created for him by his mother, he has no super powers, unless you count the ability of his skin to eat through metal, given enough time. This has led to the buggeration of several watches of his acquaintance but has not thus far proved harmful to other lifeforms. The Captain hopes you will enjoy his blogged musings and forgive the occasional rant against the world at large, and idiot dictators in particular. They really get his gander up.

Elton Don

The President made quite the splash this week in Helsinki. With all due apologies to Elton John and Bernie Taupin, here’s my starry-eyed tribute to the POTUS. YOUR SONG (To Vlad, with love, always, Donnie xxxxx) It’s a little bit … Continue reading

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The Long and Grinding Road

News broke yesterday that caused much weeping and gnashing of teeth among Salisbury residents. From Salisbury Journal online: In an idle moment of whimsy I tweeted, in a reply to Salisbury Journal’s Rebecca Hudson, a parody chorus based on “Goodbye, … Continue reading

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Return of the Japanese Knotweed

Every now and then an apparently harmless Twitter exchange can act as inspiration for the strangest of ideas. Genesis once wrote a song about a Giant Hogweed and, as you can see, @janh1 commented that it was somewhat weird subject … Continue reading

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‘Tails of the New Fronteer’ by Nigel Molesworth

With my customary apologies to Geoffrey Willans and Ronald Searle Welcome back gentle reeder. The last time we spoke you may recall st. custards was on the virge of a SINISTER hostel takeover by Americans becos of a deel struck … Continue reading

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The Dead President Sketch

Following Donald Trump’s glowing and, frankly, somewhat unlikely medical report, I began to wonder if there isn’t a more straightforward explanation for the President’s weird behaviour. With apologies to the Monty Python team.   A voter enters the White House. … Continue reading

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January to November 2017

With apologies to Walt Whitman January O Country! my Country! the White House trick is done, The GOP is right on track, the prize it sought is won, The Don is in, beside him Flynn, the alt Right all excited, … Continue reading

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Hate in Your Heart

Updated 23/10/17 I bought a new iPad recently, as my old one was showing signs of distress. I was thrilled to discover that my new toy came equipped with GarageBand, and that I could record stuff quite easily. I’m gradually … Continue reading

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In Hannity

“Good evening, America. Welcome at the top of the hour to “In Hannity”, our weekly Fox News look at the latest twisted lies by libtard supporters of Crooked Hillary. I’m Sean Hannity…” “…and I’m Tucker Carlson…” “…and together we’re Harlson…” … Continue reading

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A Vision in a Dream. A Figment

Originally posted on Kind of Lime:
My spirit guide, Bob, has been knocking urgently on my astral door ever since the inauguration. Seems Samuel Taylor Coleridge was on the Ethereal Blower with this report from the Other Side. Millions of…

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Presidential Kinks

We are the Donald Trump Appreciation Society God bless made-up facts, in all their different varieties! We are the Ku Klux Klan Preservation Society God save David Duke, our guiding light of propriety. Preserving the old ways from being abused … Continue reading

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