Author Archives: captainlimey

About captainlimey

Captain Limey is the alter ego of a mild mannered idiot. He can also be found on Twitter, either as @CaptainLimey or in his new guise as a purveyor of Gangland Mummy Porn in @50ShadesOfKray. Despite a magnificent costume, specially created for him by his mother, he has no super powers, unless you count the ability of his skin to eat through metal, given enough time. This has led to the buggeration of several watches of his acquaintance but has not thus far proved harmful to other lifeforms. The Captain hopes you will enjoy his blogged musings and forgive the occasional rant against the world at large, and idiot dictators in particular. They really get his gander up.

Putting Donald To The Test

President Trump has, in his own words, accumulated lots of data and he has an astonishingly high IQ. I thought it only fair that we should be allowed to disseminate more widely the pearls of wisdom that no doubt shimmer … Continue reading

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Nigel Molesworth Reports

 Further apologies to Geoffrey Willans and Ronald Searle Since mi last misive there hav been SINISTER developments at st custards. Last Monday our weedy Head had a brakedown during an ofsted inspektion and started throwing flowerpots at fotherington-tomas from his … Continue reading

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Mr Smith Goes To LALALAND

Yesterday I went with my wife to watch LALALAND. I suspect my blog is not eagerly sought out by Trump-leaning folk, but any readers of that mindset will already be thinking “There’s another sad, liberal snowflake in thrall to his … Continue reading

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Launch Code of the Woosters

With apologies to the great P.G. Wodehouse. “I say, Jeeves! What do you make of this Trump fellow?” For perhaps a millisecond, the great man paused in the act of pouring my constitutional snifter. A less keen eye might have … Continue reading

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Should Auld Acquaintance…

This blog has been recycled from a previous blog. Recycling is good for the environment. Fact. It’s Burns Night and later, after a few snifters, those of a more Scottish persuasion will no doubt be singing Auld Lang Syne. But what … Continue reading

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A Vision in a Dream. A Figment

My spirit guide, Bob, has been knocking urgently on my astral door ever since the inauguration. Seems Samuel Taylor Coleridge was on the Ethereal Blower with this report from the Other Side. In Washington did Donald Trump A stately pleasure-dome … Continue reading

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Don’t Panic! The Hitchhiker’s Guide To Donald J. Trump

With apologies to Douglas Adams It has been remarked by members of a certain bipedal species that The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – despite being an indispensable repository of occasionally accurate knowledge for the intergalactic traveller – is somewhat … Continue reading

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The Model of a Modern US President

I am the very model of a modern US President, Like some old farts once said, I hold this thing to be self-evident, I know a lot of words, in fact my mind is a distillery Of facts I gleaned … Continue reading

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Mobile Dicks

Originally posted on Kind of Lime:
DUBLIN (Reuters) – Two Irish men who stole a fishing trawler after missing their ferry had to be rescued off the British coast where they were going in circles because they did not know…

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Defeeting Terorism by Nigel Molesworth (The Curse of St Custard’s)

Originally posted on Kind of Lime:
With apologies to Geoffrey Willans and Ronald Searle @reelmolesworth has been keeping the flame alive much longer than I (GRAMMER). Please follow him if you read and like  this. Hello, gentle reeder and welcome back…

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